Ana Miranda
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Do you really want what you think you want?

17/10/2014

8 Comments

 
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I spend a lot of my time longing for the things I don’t have yet, daydreaming the ideal scenarios of my future. It’s inspiring and uplifting at times and I tell myself “Nothing is impossible” and “Who says I can’t have it all?”

Some other times all this wanting just hurts. I realize how far I am from that ideal life and I am not able to see how on earth I’ll get there. I’m powerless, hopeless and a little bit apathetic.

But why do I want the things I want? What if I didn’t want them? Would I be less frustrated and more passionate about my life right now?

Let’s start with me wanting a house with a big garden to raise chicken in. We just moved, forgodssakes! And here I am, stressing about how much money we would need for a house and should we buy or should we build?

Next on that train of thought, I decide that it’s definitely time for us to have a baby. And that the use of my family name is non-negotiable. We live in a one-bedroom apartment and I don’t have sufficient/stable income, isn’t it the perfect time to get pregnant?

I imagine us in this beautiful home, watching the children play, eating our home-grown vegetables and I get lost and anxious in the when, where and how of things. I’m such a big failure at 28 years of age.

Really, people, the things that go on in my head are ridiculous.

Then, I decide that we absolutely need to travel the world. Backpack, work on a cruise ship, become flight attendants for Emirates, WWOOF, Workaway, whatever takes us on incredible adventures far away.

I also want to have my own business, work from home, create passive income, profit from my passions. But as hard as I try, I can’t figure that out. I have written half a book in about eleven months and I still don’t know when or how to publish it.

Money, house, children, travel… Have you ever paused to question the reason you want things?

I did. And the answer is either because I truly do or because I see other people doing it.

I had to question my wishes when they started making me so anxious I couldn't appreciate what was right under my nose: a wonderful boyfriend and a lovely apartment. Family and friends’ support all around us. Health. Fun. Beauty. Opportunities.

I have been forcing myself to limit social media time. The less I see of other people’s cute babies, exotic travels, weight loss, weddings or business, the closer I get to what I truly desire (and what I don’t) and the more I focus on loving my life right now.

I do love to see that my friends are leading happy lives, but the speed and the sheer amount of information is flipping my brain!

What if we try a different way? Simpler, easier, lighter? 

Share your thoughts below!

8 Comments
Kênya
17/10/2014 09:21:25 am

Hahaha Anxious. Leaving the moment. That's our challenge. I liked the way your thoughts went from mess till gratitude. All the best!

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Ana Elisa Miranda
19/10/2014 04:10:40 am

Finding our way to gratitude is the best attitude :)

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Tabata link
17/10/2014 04:15:53 pm

Oohh, I totally get you! It's been exactly 10 months since I've been dreaming about my life with my boyfriend. =/
It`s not at all easy. We are going to the right direction so at least this is ok, Now I only have more 3 months of waiting and I'll finally be able to live my dream!!! (damn bureaucracy!)
(Counting every little second!)

Reply
Ana Elisa Miranda
19/10/2014 04:12:13 am

Good luck and lots of patience, Tabata! It'll all be alright :)

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Alexandra
21/10/2014 08:42:05 am

Hey Ana..! It's good to focus on the positive things in your life. Each stage in our lives has many beautiful things. Like for example, now you can enjoy your time with your partner as a couple, once with children you'll be in another beautiful stage but you will never be able to go back. So that's the beauty of enjoying the moment.

Having said that, I think there's nothing wrong with wanting much more in your life. Don't give up on your dreams, no matter how far they seem. If you want that big house, or to travel, you should fight for it. Use your dreams as a positive force that motivates you! and not something that makes you feel bad about yourself.

I am, as you, 28! and I also thought my life would be very different to what it is now, but I will try and try until I succeed :)!

Good luck with your book and personal projects :)!

Reply
Ana Elisa Miranda
22/10/2014 07:21:47 am

Hi Alexandra! Thank you so much for your message, I needed that reminder. I'm trying to balance dreams vs anxiety, not an easy job, but I'm getting better at it ;)

How about you? What do you do, where do you live?

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Alexandra
4/11/2014 10:12:59 am

Hey Ana :). I'm glad to hear you're getting better at it :)!

About me, well, I'm unemployed at the moment! But I keep myself busy with small personal projects.. until I can find a job :)! I live in Ghent too! So if you ever feel like going for a cup of coffee, let me know :)

By the way, I wanted to ask you something.. I saw you made your website with weebly, are you using the free version? and.. if so, do you recommend it? (for a blog ..).

Ana Elisa Miranda
7/11/2014 02:38:18 am

Hi Alexandra,

Send me a message on Facebook, let's have coffee :)

Yes, I use the free version and really recommend it for a blog. It's easy to set up and there are nice layouts.

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