I’m back!

August was a very busy month and I didn’t do any writing, which made me feel anxious and frustrated. However, I did a lot of Dutch-learning, which made me feel proud. When I say a lot I really mean it: I had three-hour classes five days a week plus a shit-ton of homework plus newspaper reading plus talking with the Flemish boyfriend. I was constantly busy with Dutch.

It all started with me not wanting to sit at home for two months letting all I’ve learned slip away from my brain. The school where I studied didn’t offer summer courses, but the University Language Center did. It’s quite expensive (€375 per month/level) but I got hold of this valuable piece of information: the City of Ghent grants you a discount if you meet the following requirements:

"1. To reside in one of the sub-districts of the City of Ghent
2. Being a legal resident and have a real and permanent judicial residence expectation
3. The gross monthly family income is below 4000 euro
4. Reference of the Huis van het Nederlands Gent vzw."

All I had to do was go to the House of Dutch with my identity card and some pay checks and get the paper. After I enrolled paying only €99 I took an entrance exam and – no shit – passed for their highest level! Maybe I’ve been underestimating my skills.

Passing that exam shifted something and I immediately started speaking more Dutch with the people around me.

Classes were fast paced and my classmates really motivated. I realized how behind I was on vocabulary and fluency and worked my ass off at home. I was challenged and I was learning, yay! The one thing I didn’t know was that at the end of that level everyone was supposed to take this ITNA test (Interuniversitaire Taaltest Nederlands voor Anderstaligen). It’s a proficiency test for those who want to go to University here.


Proficiency! Hello?!

The whole month was ITNA this, ITNA that and a lot of anxiety on the part of people who depended on it for their visas. I tried to relax and just learn the most I could because that was my goal to start with. We did a lot of reading and grammar/vocabulary exercises in order to prepare for the first phase: the computer test. If you pass that you can take the oral test. That annoyed the shit out me. The oral test was composed of a presentation and an argumentation. You get diagrams and you have to interpret the information and present them. Boring.

I did the best I could, all the while thinking that I didn't know half of what everybody else did and that I wouldn't pass. 

I was wrong.

Proficiency, people!

Of course I need to learn more and I’m going back to the CVO, twice a week. I took a new level test and they let me enroll on level 9. Nine! I just skipped four levels, bam!

Bragging is the least I want to do with this post. What I want to say is: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF. Cliché but true.

What is your experience learning languages? 

Are you learning a new language?

Living abroad?

Do you love reading?

Don’t you mind reading your favorite books one more time?

Once you’ve reached a certain level you should challenge yourself to read more than textbook dialogues and articles. Reading a story you already know is one of the great ways to learn new words and train your brain to read in another language.

One of the advantages is that you won’t stress about understanding everything – you already know what happens. Besides, if you chose to re-read that book, I suppose you love the story and the experience will be pleasant and relaxed.

When I first came to Belgium I bought the book Mange, Prie, Aime which is the French version of Eat, Pray, Love. I had read it at least twice and also seen the movie, so my transition into reading “real things” in French was very smooth. 

Now that I am learning Dutch and reached a comfortable reading level (past comic books and magazines) I decided to go for my boyfriend’s Harry Potter series. The first one, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone is called Harry Potter en de Steen der Wijzen.

There are many a-ha times like “Oh, that’s how you say______!” There are also times when I know a word “in real life” because I’ve read it on the book. Fun and effortless learning.

My only disappointment are the translated names: Hermelien (Hermione), Perkamentus (Dumbledore), Zweinstein (Hogwarts), Malfidus (Malfoy), Marcel (Nevile) and so on. Names are names, for God’s sake!

Now, for training your listening skills and learning how to properly pronounce words: animations! Choose your favorites and re-watch them in the language you’re learning. The pronunciation in animation movies is very clear and easy to understand. Again: fun and effortless.

A foreign language can be stressful and frustrating, but we can find our own ways to lighten things up. What are yours?

So after I picked up my Belgian identity card, I did a little silly dance and sighed with relief. It felt great to have one less thing to worry about.

Then, we officially changed our address to Ghent and met our neighbourhood police officer. Now we can take advantage of some free museum and castle visits!

Life proceeded as usual: Dutch classes, friends, networking, searching for jobs and sending a lot of unsolicited applications.

Dutch  

I started level 4 at CVO de Bargie, which is going great. We have the same teacher but only five of us continued, so the other dozen people are new. We talk a lot about Ghent, Flanders and Belgium in this level and they even gave us a guided tour of the city center.

I finally started going to Het Huis van het Nederlands’ conversation table. I don’t know why I didn’t do it before. Oh, yes I know: I was lazy. But now I’m going every Monday until the end of June, when they probably take a break. I need to practice speaking and the small group plus a Flemish volunteer offers the perfect opportunity.

I also found out that I am eligible for a grant from the City of Ghent for Dutch courses at the University Language Center. Instead of the €375 that I was going to pay anyway, I’ll only pay €99! Awesome! I didn’t want to stay home all summer letting my Dutch slip away from me and I’ve heard that they have a pretty high standard.

Integration

I always thought it would be mandatory for me to go through the Integration program once I had my permanent id. I went there and found out that it wasn’t, but I had the right to register if I wanted to. I only saw advantages, so I signed a contract with them and put my name on a long waiting list. The social classes should only start in September for me (or later), but I can already be exempt from paying for my Dutch course and they’ll work on my diploma equivalence.

Job search

Ah, the hardest part of this whole immigration thing. I am not sure on what your “luck” depends on here: your degree and experience, your language skills, your network or luck itself. What I know is that I haven’t been lucky in this field. I’ve sent out résumés to pretty much every school in Brussels and Ghent, got some replies saying “I’m sorry but we don’t have any vacancy right now but we’ll keep your CV in our database” or “All our instructors are native speakers”. Ouch.

After moving I focused my search here and contacted hostels, B&Bs, crèches and created my profile on job sites. Nothing.

The only job that really interested me in months and that I knew I could do well was probably taken by someone who was available on the exact day they wanted to carry on interviews. And please, when you say “we’ll get back to you to schedule a date”, it’s only professional and polite to do so.

So, not going very well. I hate looking for a job because I have to fit in all these expectations and rigid requirements, what makes me think more and more about starting my own thing (teaching Portuguese, for example). That’s a bit complicated, though. What I’ve found out up to now is that if I want to be a full-time independent professional I have to pay trimestral social security fees starting at around €700, even in the beginning when I won’t know for sure how much I’ll be making and how steady my income will be. Not encouraging. 

Useful links:
Belgian Government
VDAB
Stepstone
Jobat
The Bulletin

One year and three months after our first visit to the town hall, I rode my bike there for what I hope was the last time.

April 7th, the day I first arrived in Belgium (in 2011) was the day I picked up my shiny, green id card. There’s some symbolism there.

One year and three months, a denied application, a lawyer, hundreds of euros, two orange cards, a lot of back-and-forth and a lot of tears later, the Kingdom of Belgium decided to welcome me as a legal citizen. No more uncertainty and anxiety (related to that, at least). We can now relax and move on with our lives.

Looking back, off course we could have done some things differently – like hiring a lawyer. But at the time we didn’t know better and it was the best we could do when I got a letter saying I should leave the country in thirty days. We could have married from the beginning. I could have waited a bit longer in Brazil. We could… we could... What’s the use of looking back, anyway? It’s all good now and we did our best with what we knew.

Since I wrote Cohabitation in Belgium I got a lot of messages and met a few people. I said it then and I’m not tired of repeating: you must be patient. Yes, bureaucracy sucks, but it has to be done. Yes, the requirements seem ridiculous, but it’s their way of making sure you’re a legit couple. Yes, the waiting period is long and stupid and kinda puts your life on hold, but there are plenty of things to keep you busy (like learning Dutch or French).

On one hand, I believe that everyone should have the right to live anywhere in the world they want, as long as they work, learn the local language and be part of the community. It shouldn’t be so difficult, frustrating and tiring. Many times I felt it wasn’t fair that I just wanted to be with someone I love, get a job and live my life but they were giving us such a hard time.

On the other hand, I do understand that the government has to have a system for letting people stay or not. But it’s screaming for change. There is definitely something wrong with the way immigration, integration, welfare, work and education is happening. But I’m not going to pull this thread now.

I’m going tell you two things: 1.What have I learned from this? 2. What now?

The most important lesson for me was that things don’t always happen the way you want, when you want. I admit that I like control. I like planning. I like knowing. I like being the boss of my own life. So you can imagine how a year of waiting and not knowing freaked me out.

I have been unemployed all this time (check out The Stay-at-Home Expatriate) and we lived with his family for a year. Picture this: I was a 27 year-old woman who started working at the age of 19 and always took care of herself, now living with her boyfriend’s parents. I haven’t lived with my own parents for a year straight since I changed high schools (it was in another town). It was weird and many times I didn’t know how to behave. I tend to care too much about what people think of me and I need more quiet than most.

But it was amazing too. I became part of a family. I got to know them and understand them. I was supported and loved. We had structure and comfort. I will never thank them enough for all they did for us in this tough beginning.

Last year I read a lot, wrote a lot, networked and learned about blogging, entrepreneurship and personal development (Recommended: Leonie Dawson, Marie Forleo, Ash Ambridge). I also learned some Dutch and decided to take my writing more seriously. It was a good year in terms of reflecting and learning, but I’m happy it’s over. I’m happy we’re moving on.

So, what now?

I’m still not clear about what I want to do here because it all depends so much on what I can do. My Dutch is not fluent enough for me to apply for most vacancies I see; language schools won’t hire me as an English teacher because I’m not a native-speaker (total bs); I’ve never taught Portuguese in my life and the demand here isn’t that high. I had a look into becoming self-employed but that scares me to hell (taxes, quarterly social contributions, etc).

So I’m still a bit stuck work-wise, but I know I’ll figure it out.

I just finished Dutch level 3 and will start level 4 in the end of the month. My next step after we are registered in Ghent is to take the Integration course. I hope that by September I can start a professionalizing course or actually find a job.

Otherwise I better finish that novel I’m writing and start selling! ;) 


xo,
Ana

This was definitely one of the most expected moments of the year!

Having our own place meant we’d finally start life as a couple – you know, doing things like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and cuddling on our own couch. It meant more privacy and freedom. I was crazy with anticipation! Even for the cleaning part.

To me it also meant more opportunities to study and work, since I can easily get everywhere on foot, by bike or by tram. I was excited to have a new routine and meet new people – you don’t stand out much as a foreigner in Ghent. I immediately started a new level of Dutch and found affordable yoga lessons. In less than a month, life is on track. I’m home.

We only needed to visit two apartments in our search and I consider ourselves extremely lucky for getting this one – it’s clean, well maintained, well located and what’s best, within our budget.

There were times when I couldn’t believe what I saw: dirty bathrooms, paint peeling off, weird layouts like a shower in the middle of the kitchen, exposed wires and so on. But the thing is, people rent those places. A couple of times we had just seen an advertisement, called the owner or the agency and the place was already taken. High demand!

If you’re moving to (or within) Belgium and have to find a house yourself, you must be patient but act fast.

There were two websites I checked every single day: immoweb.be and kapaza.be. They have a great amount of adds so you should know what you want and focus your search. What’s your budget? How many bedrooms do you need? What location do you prefer? House, apartment, loft? What are your deal breakers? For us it was dirty bathrooms and far, isolated locations.

Now, wanna hear something fun (not)? We went to the Ikea every Saturday for a month. Four Saturdays on a row! That was totally my fault because I wanted to start preparing for the move, getting small stuff and browsing furniture so that we knew exactly which ones we wanted once we finally came to get them on moving day. The Ikea website has a nice feature where you can make your shopping list and see if your products are available and where (in that big maze of a warehouse).

We survived our first Ikea experience. Isn’t that a strong relationship?!

But we also had amazing help. Thank you, guys!

If you have more time and creativity (and want to save money) you can go to a second-hand store. They have furniture in very good conditions and you can always renovate them the way you like. It adds charm to your place!


Now I’m off to explore this beautiful city (you’ll be reading many posts about it)!
If you have questions or suggestions, leave a comment below.

Italy

First, I went to Tuscany with the family for a week. The place really reminded me of home: the hills, the vegetation, the houses and the smells of food, flowers and fruit. It was a “work” week – playing with the children, relaxing by the pool and eating delicious food.

After that, my friend (my host dad’s sister’s Au Pair) and I went to Florence, Rome and Venice. The weather was beautiful, the cities are incredibly charming and needless to say, the food was amazing! Oh, and GELATOS!

We met a solo traveler from the US and toured Florence together.

We joined a couple of friends from Belgium who were also in Rome. We threw our coins in the Fontana di Trevi, saw the Coliseum and lots of other ruins and museums, drank water from the fountains, visited Vatican City.

We didn’t go on a gondola ride in Venice, but we got a free ferry ride + free entrance to the Casino where there was a live singer and piano player and they served us champagne and strawberries.

I could understand a bit of Italian and I loved being called “bella”. Oh, Italy! 

London

As an English graduate, I always dreamed of going to London. I wanted to be where all those writers had been inspired. I wanted to see where the royal family lived. And of course I wanted to see Platform 9 3/4!

It was the first time I surfed someone’s couch via Couchsurfing. It was amazing – he showed us around during the weekend and we had great conversations!

We went to the Nothing Hill fair, rode the London Eye, went on a boat ride on the Thames, saw the Parliament, the Abbey, the Palace and the change of guards, Piccadilly, rode the red double deck bus, went to pubs and had a great time watching people on the street (it was Halloween). 

Porto

Oh, the joy of warm weather in February + speaking my own language! I don’t know if that’s what made Porto one of my favorite cities in the world or if it’s just one of the factors.

Porto has a lot to offer: river, beach, historical city center, modern city center. The food is simply fantastic and cheap (once we got a full meal – salad, stew, potatoes, a drink, dessert and coffee - for 6,50 Euros!).

We visited one of the caves and tasted red and white Porto + we went to a wine festival where there were hundreds of producers’ stands.

The hostel we stayed was THE best I’ve been – nice house, clean, comfortable bedrooms, yummy breakfast and super nice people. We all dressed up and went to the Carnaval parties together!

You can read this and more on Live the Dream and Love the Journey, an ebook about living abroad as an Au Pair. Subscribe and get one in your inbox!

Around this time of the year in 2009 I was getting ready to leave home for the first time. 

Life as I'd always known would be changed forever. 

As I celebrate this date and all that I lived after that I'd like to share my top 3 trips in the US of A, the country that sparkled my wanderlust and was my home and playground for a year and a half. 

Disneyland

It was my first American trip and it was a “must do”. Five days of incredible, magic, fun, dreamy stuff. Everything looked so unreal, I couldn’t stop smiling and thinking “Oh my God, I’m really here”. We would walk around all day and pass out on our beds at night.

We were even invited to participate in the opening ceremony of Hollywood Studios. What a blast! That was my favorite day. Plus, we got the first ride on Rock ‘n Rollercoaster. Alone. Before everyone was allowed in. Teehee! We also got fast passes for the Tower of Terror and rode it twice. Fun, fun, fun! 

Miami

Beach. Party. Beach. Repeat!

We stayed at a cheap hostel a couple of blocks from South Beach. It was beeeeautiful!

We made new friends and drove with them to Key West.

We missed our flight to NJ because of that.

Just another adventure on a fun-filled week.

West Coast

Oooh, yeah! Ca.li.for.nia, baby.

Someone should have told me – in time – that San Francisco was much nicer than L.A. I only spent one day there and I was all by myself, but IT – WAS – AWESOME. The city is beautiful, the piers, Alcatraz, the hills, the bridge. It FEELS good to be there.

L.A is overrated. I found it dirty and a bit boring. I visited the Hollywood sign, Santa Monica beach, the Walk of Fame. The most fun was on my last night there, on West Hollywood (gay dancing clubs, Woohoo!). Maybe my expectations were too high. Or my judgment was clouded by San Francisco + Vegas + The Grand Canyon.

I took a bus tour to the Grand Canyon. It is still THE most amazing thing of nature I have seen in my life. It’s ridonkulously gigantic and gorgeous. It made me feel so small and my problems disappeared. I sat there for a long time reflecting on that and feeling good and light.

We spent two nights in the Sin City. It’s a shame that I was alone, so I didn’t gamble or party. I didn’t really feel like it, though. Vegas is such an absurd city. So bright and colorful and fake.

All in all it was a fantastic time :)

You move to a new country and you’re full of hopes and expectations. However, they are not immediately fulfilled. Your papers are not yet in order. You can’t speak the local language. You can’t enroll in schools. You can’t get a job.

What do you do? You stay home and try to enjoy the freedom, thinking of it as well-deserved vacations and that you’ll soon figure things out.

Time passes and you’re still forced to stay home. Bureaucratic procedures are slow and jobs are scarce. You freak out. You get bored to tears. You think you’ll go crazy. You’re afraid people think you’re a lazy loser.

Don’t despair! Sometimes the situation is out of our control and the best we can do is to stay positive and keep things in perspective.

I’ve been back in Belgium for a year now and my visa request is still pending. I haven’t found work due to poor language skills (French and Dutch) and being a non-native English speaker (which apparently is a deal breaker for private language schools, even though I have a degree and years of classroom experience).

If you’re independent and accustomed to taking care of yourself, this will be a challenge. However, it might also be a great opportunity to reflect and learn.

Sure I am blessed by having people supporting me financially and emotionally. I couldn’t have thrived for a year without them. And I didn’t get comfortable – I still look for jobs regularly and could finally start a Dutch intensive course.

Here is what kept me going this year: 

Separate your worth from work

Since I was in University and got my first job I have always taken care of myself. So this year I have been struggling with something new: being supported by my boyfriend and his family.

I feel uncomfortable sometimes, like this is an unconceivable and unacceptable situation for me – a girl who has been independent and living abroad for years. I took a lot of pride in working, supporting myself and going after my dreams but suddenly I had no control over my situation and became somewhat unemployable (not fluent in Dutch or French and not a native English speaker).

I am sure I will overcome this situation by studying and improving my skills and also by exploring options and opportunities.

But this year was the longest I spent “doing nothing” and I can clearly see how it has impacted my confidence and sense of self-worth. Not having a job made me feel like a burden and sometimes useless. I felt bad when people asked what I did and was afraid of what they might think of me.

I felt frustrated about not making my own money and therefore not doing whatever I wanted with it – mostly travelling.    

I felt like I had to have a routine, tasks, results, productivity and displays of success (an income).

I understood the way we are taught that what you do is a big part of who you are, but not before I obsessed about who I really am, since I didn’t have a job.

I know a lot of people and in the middle of my crisis I realized that I have no clue what many of them do for a living. The best realization though, was that I doesn’t matter what they do - they are who they are.

The lesson I am slowly learning is that my worth as a person is not tied to my job/career/income. Although I do want to (must) find a job that will help us build our life as a couple and eventually do work that I truly love and motivates me to get out of bed every morning.

 There is more! To continue reading, download the file below: 

Despite living in Flanders and being surrounded by Flemings, I couldn’t just flip a switch and start speaking. I’m not a natural and I get really self-conscious of my mistakes and shortcomings. Every time I hear “We moeten Nederlands spreken, eh, Ana?!” I shy out because the things I actually can say are so basic I feel stupid. I wish I could, from the moment we decree that I must speak Dutch only, chat your ears off or at least speak my mind before it gets lost in translation and the conversation moves on. Frustrating.

I doubt that I’ll stop speaking English with the people I’ve already been doing so for years. It’s our default communication. But I’m sure I’ll improve enough to be a functional and fully integrated member of the Flemish community.

Anyway, I digress.

As a beginner learner of any language, you’ll need to learn a lot of new words and it might be hard to remember all of them or know how to use them properly.

Before I started the intensive course I took advantage of the resources around me, tried them out and decided which ones were the most helpful for me.

These classes have been crucial in my case because even though I learned a lot of words in the last few months, I wasn’t able to maintain a conversation. I like following a structure, learning each situation/vocabulary/grammar on their own and doing homework and exams. Maybe it's a teacher thing. I now use the following tools as extra learning support:

1. Television: I love cooking shows (Hellooo, Jamie Oliver!) so imagine my delight in discovering a Flemish cooking channel that would teach me not only their culinary secrets but vital food vocabulary. Njam! Now and then I also watch Komen Eten, Thuis, series like Salamander and Eigen Kweek (hilarious!) and cartoons. Cartoons are especially good because their speech is clearer and easy to understand (Don’t you dare bother me when I’m watching The Penguins of Madagascar. I’m actually studying.)

2. Music: Gers Pardoel’s songs are modern and catchy. I like to read the lyrics and try to sing along – it helps a lot with pronunciation.

Children’s songs are awesome and I think it’s the right time for this: 

3. Word of the day: You can subscribe and receive a new word and sentence every.single.day. What I like to do is to write down the sentence on my study notebook, listen to the native sound (on the website) and say it out loud a couple of times. Vocabulary, spelling and pronunciation practice right there. Daily. And free. Unlike booze. 

4. Wablief: You can find it on Fans of Flanders website or watch it when the show is on tv. Chris explains a Flemish word or expression (in English).

5. Comic Books: Belgians are suckers for (oops, pardon me), fans of comic books. There’s even a Museum in Brussels. My boyfriend owns a decent stash that I’ve been slowly exploring. Kufje (Tintin), Suske en Wiske, Jommeke, Urbanus, you name it!

Just look around and see what you can use to learn the language you want (or need to). Read everything: labels, flyers, posters, magazines, brochures, etc. Listen to the radio, look for websites or YouTube channels. Languages are all around you, happy learning! 

As a blogger, I read other blogs on a daily basis and I simply love them.

I like coming across posts and thinking “Yes, I’ve been through that”, “Oh, I feel the same way”, “Thank God I’m not the only one” or “That looks nice, I should do that too”.

That is precisely why I write as well – so that people can connect with the experiences I’m living and feel like they’re not alone or maybe even inspire them (to live abroad, to follow their hearts, whatever).

Lately I’ve been focused on expatriates in Belgium blogs – I enjoy reading the impressions my fellow expat bloggers have of Belgium and these are stories that need to be told.

I've challenged myself in writing a novel set in Brussels, let’s see what happens! 


These are my favorites:

1.       Opposite Ocean

Written by Leah Budke - an American who has lived in Italy and Spain and is now in Gent.

She writes about learning Dutch, her experience as a student at Gent University and more on the “curious yet charming country of Belgium”, as she describes it herself.

Must read: 
10 things I’ve learned about studying at a Flemish university
Dutch, the mythical Unicorn of European languages

2.       More than Beer and Waffles

Mrs. Isinvar is an American who recently married a Belgian and moved to Antwerp. Her posts go from the nightmare that is apartment hunting  to culinary curiosities to language observations. There are also very interesting encounters and reflections like At least I don’t hear bombs and American awareness: thoughts on global citizenship.

3.       Things you didn’t know about Belgium

Diana Goodwin left the USA and the film business to come to Belgium a few years ago. She blogs as an expat since 2010 and you can find a variety of topics: food, music videos, holidays, festivities, cities, language, customs.

Must read: 
Getting married in Belgium, part I
Getting married in Belgium, part II

4.       Gulf Stream Blues 

A serious and informative read, this blog is dedicated to European politics. The posts are wonderfully written and interesting. It’s been online since 2005 and it’s written by an American expat in Brussels.

Must read: 
Brussels’ complicated expats
Dutch rally round ‘right to be racist’

5.       Life in (and around) Brussels… Random tips on things to do and places to go in Brussels and beyond

They write fantastic tips ranging from “best patisserie in Brussels”, “all things Japanese”,  events, concerts, and especially restaurant reviews – every post accompanied by mouth-watering pictures.

6.       Ivory Pomegranate

Written by Kirstin, a young American expat who previously lived in Kyrgyzstan (yes, that’s a country, I googled it) and has just moved to Gent. Welcome, Kirstin! I can’t wait to read more of your experiences and impressions of our (not always) lovely Belgium.

Must read: 
Illogical thoughts on moving to Belgium 

You can also find other expat bloggers (including me) on Fans of Flanders - Blogs. 


If you know of other expat blogs, don't hesitate to comment below!