If you have been following the blog for a while you might know that I’ve been living in Belgium for over four years.

It took more than a year until I had my resident permit. Then I attended their social integration program. I had my Brazilian diploma recognized. I went to several meetings at the VDAB and information sessions about courses and jobs. Until I finally started to settle down. Until I finally found a job in my field.

All the while, I studied Dutch. Morning lessons, evening lessons, summer lessons. I was good, I could speak. But I got tired. I had other things to do.

Nowadays I find myself trying to have a decent conversation and feeling frustrated and embarrassed. It’s been four years! I should be speaking fluently! But I know why I don’t and it’s about time I do something about it.

Here are my reasons/excuses. What are yours?

I speak English at home

Since we met, my boyfriend and I spoke English to each other. I learned Dutch after moving back to Belgium and he learned Portuguese, but as much as we tried we could never make an efficient switch. We speak each other’s language now and then but we always fall back to English. It just feels more natural.

I speak English at work…

… and I can’t believe my luck! I not only get to speak English, I also do something I’m good at and care about.

Most people I know in Belgium speak English

They will likely switch languages when they notice you struggle in Dutch, and thus you’re rarely forced to improve.

I am self-conscious

As a teacher I have always told my students that it’s important to try, that mistakes are okay, that’s how you learn. But I’m terrible at following my own advice. I want to say things perfectly, I’m nervous about making a fool of myself, so I often choose to be quiet.

It hasn’t been a priority

During the first two years here I learned Dutch based on the thought that otherwise I wouldn’t find a job. At the same time I hoped that, being an English teacher, I wouldn’t need it. I kept myself busy looking for work, writing, reading, taking online courses, blogging, volunteering. Very little of that was done in Dutch.

The less I practice, the worse it gets

I forget words. Verb conjugations. Word order. It takes a lot of energy to say something. And then again, the frustration, the guilt, the shame.

These have been stressful years

There is no need to repeat everything I wrote above. These four years have been marked by uncertainty, anxiety, discomfort and low self-esteem. Stress is one of the worst enemies of learning.

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So speaking the local language is not always a natural consequence of living somewhere. It takes effort and time. What will I do about it from now on? I will add a little more Dutch in my life, every day. I will read, watch movies, listen to music, talk to people around me.

One day it won’t be such an effort anymore.

What helped you become fluent? 

If this trip was a sample of what this year will be like, I’m happy. It was easy, we got more than we bargained for and had great weather and beautiful scenery.

We had been worried about driving there, since we don’t have winter tires, but the weather couldn’t have been nicer (for winter, anyway). The drive was smooth and we made a stop in Cologne.

I’m glad I can finally say I’ve been to Cologne. The cathedral is impressive and the Christmas market was super cosy. However, I don’t think it lived up to its popularity. 

We arrived in Bonn in the late afternoon. The hotel gave us an apartment instead of a standard room (yay!), we found a grocery store around the corner and settled ourselves. There were even proper glasses to drink the sparkling wine we had brought along – and I was almost conformed to drinking it from hotel plastic cups, yikes!

On the next day we took nice walks around the city, with a coffee break and lunch to warm up. The stores closed at around 3pm and the streets emptied out, so we walked back to the apartment. Our plan was to stay in, cook dinner and drink champagne, but we still needed to shop. Everything was closed on our way, except for the grocery store around the corner. How lucky!
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This NYE we watched the fireworks from our window.  

On the first day of the year we walked all the way up Drachenfels. It was freezing cold, the sun was shining and the sky was blue. There was a gorgeous castle on the way and a fantastic panoramic view on the top. That ought to set the tone for 2017!

I bike to most places in town

You wouldn’t hear me say that three years ago. I wasn’t used to it and I honestly disliked cycling. Arriving tired and sweaty at work or a friend’s house felt ridiculous. However, I had to understand what thousands of other Ghent residents had: it’s faster than walking, cheaper than public transport and simpler than driving. It’s even a good way to stay fit and, I must admit, it’s pleasant.

I check the weather forecast every day

Gone are the days when I could just assume it would be hot and sunny, put on my jeans and T-shirt and go out for the day. Living in Belgium showed me that you might go from foggy, cloudy and cold in the morning, to sunny and pleasantly warm at lunchtime, to rain and hail on your way home, to snow at night. You shouldn’t get out of the house without knowing what to expect and what to wear.

I need to think about what to wear

Is it going to rain? Then I can’t wear these shoes. I’ll need my rain trousers and jacket if I’m biking. Will it get warmer later? Then a lighter shirt underneath this sweater. But let me pack my hat and gloves, just in case.

I rarely bother putting on makeup or jewelry

Back home, girls dress up to go eat pizza. Seriously. I used to stress about where I was going, how I looked, what people would think. Living here I learned not to care, because nobody does. My only pair of high heels haven’t been worn in more than a year and I have foundation that’s probably expired. I do give in to nail polish and lipstick – and that’s the extent of my beauty repertoire.

There is much more to beer than I ever imagined

Oh, the flavors, the textures, the aftertastes, the degrees of alcohol, the food pairing, the culture around it! A new and amazing world for a girl who only knew one kind of beer: the kind you drink “stupidly cold” on a hot day in Brazil.

I never thought I would crave sunlight

I avoided the sun at all costs between 10am and 4pm. You know, skin cancer and all. Sunscreen or umbrella if I really needed to go to work or University (I took the bus and walked everywhere). But here, well, I miss it the way they miss the rain in my hometown. I enjoy the opportunities I get to sit outside and soak it in, to have a picnic at a park or even go to the beach. The winter months can really get you down.

There’s nothing glamorous about living in Europe

Unlike what most people back home think, living here isn’t chic. I was unemployed for a while, now I work hard, I bike to work and get rained on a lot. I have been to Paris, London, Vienna and more, and there I stayed with friends or cheap hotels, bought bread and cheese and sat at a park to eat, only visited free attractions and walked a lot. Not glamorous but definitely wonderful.

I don’t belong in my hometown anymore

They call it reverse culture shock when you go back to your home country after having lived abroad. You don’t quite fit in anymore. You don’t understand people’s behaviors anymore. You changed, they changed. Every time I go back I feel the conflicting emotions of being home (the home of my memories) and being a visitor, a tourist in my own town.  

​Photo: Pixabay.com

On my first year back to Belgium one of my classmates at the Dutch course said: “The first two years are the most difficult”. I braced myself and went on with all the resilience I could muster.

I didn’t know what to expect and I felt completely lost most of the time but somehow, at the end of my third year back here, things are falling into place.

It will take time, but you will get used to everything and start feeling at home. You’ll get your documents in order. You’ll find a job. You’ll make friends. Don’t lose heart.

Let’s talk about Belgium:

On Language

Dutch and the ITNA test 
Again. In another language
Language learning tools
Nergens beter dan thuis

The Process

Diploma Equivalence in Belgium
The integration program in Belgium
Cohabitation in Belgium
Cohabitation in Belgium, part II
The slow process of starting over
The stay-at-home expatriate

Around

Moving to Ghent, Belgium
Carnaval in Aalst, Belgium
Geraardsbergen, the city of pies
Dinant - nature, fun and saxophones everywhere
Summer in Flanders
One weekend, four countries

This and that

8 styles of beer to try in Belgium
Volunteering in Belgium
Feeling like a person

On TripAdvisor

Best food in Brussels
Guide to Brussels outdoors
Museum guide to Brussels

On Fans of Flanders

Clutch that Dutch
That’s what I like about you
Popcorn
My city, my love
Life’s little lessons (for expats)
Love and... Paperwork. Welcome to Belgium!
Immigration: the saga continues
Amazing Little Flanders
Rediscovering Belgium

Interviews
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Small Planet Studio - Re-entry Reality: It's not the end of the world
Wonderful Wanderings - Expats in Belgium
Bright Expats Blog

Fiction

​Home is who you are
A boy in Ghent

Last year I followed the Integration Program for foreigners, which consists of a social orientation class, Dutch classes and work/study coaching. They also intermediate diploma equivalence processes for free.

I have a Brazilian diploma in English teaching and this is what my recognition process looked like:

1. I provided Kom-Pas (now In-Gent) with the following documents:

• A copy of my diploma and a copy of my grades history (they had these translated).
• Official (original or scanned) subjects’ descriptions (provided by my University).
• Translation of the subjects’ descriptions (a summary in English made by me).
• My résumé.
• Letters from former employers or any document proving professional experience (optional).

 
   2.   My dossier was sent to Flemish Universities for analysis.

   3.   I was invited for an interview and a sample English lesson.

   4.   I received an official document saying my diploma is equivalent to Bachelor Secundair Onderwijs - onderwijs vak: Engels.

It seems like a very straightforward process, but in reality there’s a lot of waiting around, of being asked for documents you can’t provide and of more waiting around. This little process lasted a year and a half.

There were moments I completely forgot about it and I never really counted on it. I thought of it as a bonus, if it worked out well.

It did, and now I’m allowed to work as a teacher. And I hope I’m done with paperwork for a while. 

Have you had your diploma recognized? How was it? 

Or are you going to try? 

Here are some useful links: 

National Academic Recognition Information Center (NARIC-Vlaanderen)
​Inburgering (Civic Integration Program)
In-Gent Integratie en Inburgering

Ivna, please tell us about who you are and where you are from.

​I am a Brazilian journalist and writer and I've been living in Belgium since 2005. I was born in Petrópolis, Rio de Janeiro. I came to Europe in 2003 to do a master's degree and I met my husband, with whom I have a son. 

What motivated you to live abroad?

I wanted to speak a foreign language and I chose French. That's why I went to Strasbourg. I also wanted to know a bit more about the EU. In Strasbourg there is a good University where I could focus on this topic.

What were your expectations before you moved to Belgium? Did the reality align with those expectations?

I did't know Belgium before. I came here because my husband works for Le Parisien newspaper. I also became a correspondent for a Brazilian newspaper and after that I became a Portuguese teacher for Europeans, especially at the European Parliament.
Belgium is a very good country with a good quality of life. The multicultural environment is very attractive and I love this because every day I can learn with them. 

What are the biggest challenges in starting a new life abroad?

I think that it's the integration. We have to be open to the other culture and the other way of thinking. In the beginning it was very difficult because I didn't have friends. In addition, I had to face the reality. I was very lonely, I had never known that in Brazil. I have a big family and many friends.  Now I've made many friends and I am very adapted to the country. 

How has living abroad changed you? What have you learned?

Living abroad is something very special. You get to know many people, you have to speak another language, and if you compare it to Rio, Belgium is very cold.
I've learned to be open minded, more patient, and that people are the same everywhere. I think that in Belgium we have respect for people, the political conscience is more concrete and the relationship between people has to be respected. Teachers, doctors, lawyers and children have to know what they are and respect each other.
 
What do you wish you had known before leaving your home country?

More about politics in Belgium, for example. How this country can function with the complicated system.

Tell us about your writing. What inspires you?

I love to write. I love Portuguese and I love reading. I am a journalist, as I said. My son Elias is my inspiration. I was very happy when he was born and I thought "why not write about the different phases of a baby?".
And then, one day I found out I had breast cancer and he asked me what was happening all the time. So I explained and I presented this idea to a friend of mine, a writer too, Thalita Rebouças. She presented this to an editor and the editor loved it immediately. What´s happening to my mummy? tells my own story of facing breast cancer with my son.  

What are you working on at the moment? 

I am teaching Portuguese to Europeans and I am a French to Portuguese translator as well. And I have finished too books for children, one about King Pedro II and the other about the twins Fábio and Rafael.

Any advice you’d like to share with those who dream of creating a new, happier life?

I think people can live every day with passion. I know that's difficult, but when you almost die because of a disease you see things in another way. Only you can make your life a happy life. Happiness is inside us...

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Ivna! 

How about you? Have you been recreating your life abroad? Feel free to leave a comment! 

“The opposite of happiness is not sadness, but boredom.” Tim Ferris in The 4-hour workweek

We all need something to look forward to.

We need fun and excitement to counterbalance our serious routines.

We need some adventure to feel alive!

Adventure certainly means different things to you and me, and we crave it in different doses. To me, it has to do with travel, with new places and experiences. If I stay put for too long, stuck in routine, having nothing cool to look forward to, I get restless.

But we can’t just pack up and leave when feeling bored (unfortunately). So I’ve been exploring new ways to add more spark to our lives:

1. Look around you with fresh eyes

As children, most of the world surrounding us was new and surprising. We were curious, we wondered, we explored, we played. Remember to have fun.

2. Go to an animal park

It will give you that feeling of being far away. You’ll relax, forget about your to-do list and the city noise. Plus, animals are amazing!

3. Go for a walk in nature
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Find the closest park, forest or beach. Turn off the internet on your phone. Turn on your ears, open your eyes, breathe consciously. 

4. Go camping

Adventure means getting out of your comfort zone! You might not have reception, electricity or even a toilet, but make sure you have amazing nature and books (and wine) on your camping trip!

5. Have an exotic meal

Next time you eat out, try a different cuisine! Thai? Greek? Congolese? Brazilian? If you like cooking, try an unusual recipe and invite friends over!

6. Visit a new town

Spend a day walking around a town you’ve never been before. Find out what the best local food and drinks are. Window shop. Sit down and people-watch.

7. Go to a show you love

Live performances always make me feel good. One of my favorites is Cirque du Soleil – it’s the closest thing to magic I know.

8. Book the cheapest flight

This requires you to be… well, adventurous! Choose a date you want to travel and just find the cheapest destination available. That’s how we’re going to Geneva on NYE!

When you spread little bits of excitement in your life, they’ll attract more and more. 

What adventure are you going on TODAY?

Immigrants in Belgium are sometimes required to follow an Integration program (Inburgering, in Flanders) which consists of a social orientation class, Dutch lessons and work guidance.

Some people are obliged to do it, some don’t have the right to it and some are allowed, like me. I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. Why? I thought I could learn something. I also heard it’s an important requirement for the citizenship application.

So after months on a waiting list, there I went and sat through a three-hour class, twice a week, in the middle of the afternoon, for three months, and was taught how to sort my trash in Belgium, who is who in the Belgian government and nobility, where to go if I need to request welfare and how the school system is divided. 

Seriously.

It’s all nice and interesting if you have just arrived here and have a lot of time to spare. Or if you are unable to find things out on your own. Some of my classmates have been living here for more than ten years, for god’s sake! What were they doing there? What was I doing there?

I do admit that I learned new things about social security, work and education. We also had an individual appointment with the teacher to discuss our chosen goal and the steps to take. Mine was to find work as a teacher and translator and she advised me to study more here in Belgium. Great.

Now that I’m done with social orientation, I have an appointment with someone from the VDAB for the third and last phase: work guidance. It’s what I was looking forward all along, but I’m not really that hopeful. I doubt she will have a solution for my situation.

My request for diploma recognition has finally been sent (another advantage of the Inburgering program) and it should take about six months but I’m not hopeful about that either.

All in all, I’m glad I did it and I’m glad it’s over. It’s the end of my second year back in Belgium, two years full of uncertainty and things to get done. People say the first years of immigration are always the worse but things do get better. I will trust that and hope 2015 comes with a feeling of “normal life”.

When I arrived in Belgium I didn’t have a single document except for my passport. Then I got the famous orange card, which says nothing but “take a seat and wait while we decide whether you’re welcome here or not”. I felt like a nobody.

No bank account, no local driver’s license, no identity card, nothing. It was like I had no existence in this country that I hoped would be my new home.

Every time I had to show my card people looked at it – and at me – funny. It was about half a page in size, folded in half and tucked in a plastic sleeve. Oh, and a nice blend of orange and pink. I could almost hear their thoughts: “What the hell is this? Is this even legal? Who is this girl?”

But my worst memory is definitely the first day of school, over a year ago. I was finally signed up and excited to learn Dutch. My boyfriend even enrolled for Portuguese classes so we could go to school together on Monday evenings. However, a few days before that I had my visa request denied and the damned orange card taken. Again, I only had my passport.

I sat through the first half of class, then everyone had to go downstairs to the office to buy some course material. They checked my file. They needed some identification, I showed them my passport. Drama. The school couldn’t accept it, there was nothing on it but my entrance stamp.  

“But the guy from the Huis van het Nederlands said any document with my picture on it would be okay!”

“Sorry, we’ll have to cancel your enrolment.”

But I just want to learn. I cried in front of the crowded office. I’m not ashamed. I was so fed up with being pushed around. I went up, found my boyfriend’s class, got him downstairs so he could give his account number and get the money back (I didn’t even have my own bank account at that time!)

Now we all know that everything turned out okay but that feeling of rejection scarred me a little and I’m always grateful to have a national id to show and all the rights that come with it.

Today I have a bank account, a driver’s license, a health insurance card, a resident permit. It seems a little ridiculous to lay your “being a person” on a bunch of plastic cards, but for some people it might make sense. Those plastic cards give you rights and freedom.

And you know what gives you more freedom, more choice? Work, money.

Not having a job or an income for almost two years has done things to my head that I hope turn into wisdom of some sort. Having everything I need to survive and more, I still feel a lack of purpose, of energy, of excitement, of identity. I feel less.

I know deep down that I am who I am and that is beautiful and enough, but it’s hard to shake off the idea that I need to work and make money to feel more like a mature, independent and free woman. 


What makes you feel more or less valuable? How do you deal with it?