After the frustrating and embarrassing first day of Dutch back in September, I am finally allowed to start lessons again – this time four mornings a week for two months.

I looked forward to this, I really did. I want to speak Dutch but without an extra push (lessons) I got stuck in the I-understand-almost-all-but-can’t-say-a-coherent-sentence. Not to mention that everyone I know speaks English and that pretty much drains my efforts in trying to speak Dutch.

I go to school in Halle, which is not too far but it’s still a 30 to 50 minute drive in the morning rush. Driving never came easy to me, I don’t know why. I guess we all have those things we’re just not very good at or comfortable with. Anyway, I was nervous. I practiced driving to school so that I knew the way. I made sure the gps was charged. I studied the map.

But something had to go wrong. Murphy’s Law or something. The day before my first class, my boyfriend’s father decided to test the car – I am driving their 20-year-old Toyota – and, of course, it didn't work. Was I giving that much of a negative vibe?

I didn’t sleep well – woke up many times and hours before the alarm – as I knew I wouldn’t.

We arrange who drives with whom, I get to drive my boyfriend’s car and his mom calls the garage and they send two guys to fix the Toyota.

I stress about not finding a good parking spot and having to go around a few blocks, what makes me late for my first class. During class, I stress about whether or not I parked in a proper spot and will I get a ticket?

God, how can people do this every day?

I’m kidding. I knew I was nervous because I am not used to driving often anymore. I’m not used to finding my way around new places anymore. And that’s a good thing – being forced to do it. I know that after some time I will feel comfortable and self-confident.

Sometimes the things you fear or are nervous about are exactly what you need to do. Face them, put them behind and learn.

I couldn’t help but wonder how strange it is that I get nervous about such silly things after all I’ve done in life. I guess it’s normal. And I needed a healthy dose of stress to get me out of boredom. 

There are more than 20 people in my class and it's wonderful to look at all the difference: people from Poland, Turkey, France, Congo, Cameroon, Ukraine, etc. I love having lessons, homework and getting out of the house. I don't even mind getting up before the sun. 

Today was the third day and everything is going smoothly. As I drove this old red car in the Belgian rain I considered how grateful I am – for learning, for overcoming difficulties, for having a car to borrow, for not getting lost, and much more. 

What challenge have you faced recently?

If you are anything like me, you are restless and love to question.

You question and reflect on why people do what they do and why society expect us to live a certain way.

You are unsure about your work life and think that there must be a better way of doing it than dragging your exhausted self out of bed every morning to go to a job that doesn’t inspire you.

You don’t want to work exclusively for paying the bills and getting your pension after decades of labor.

You want to make sense of your purpose on this planet and feel like what you do is somehow important.

Then, I urge you to read and reflect on “The work we were born to do” by Nick Williams.

Here are my favorite quotes to inspire you:

“We are encouraged to think about how we will find a job and make employers say yes to us in a world where we believe there aren’t enough jobs and we’ll have to compete. So we marginalize our creativity, our spirit and joy.”

“I would like to reinvent the idea of a proper job: it has many strands, a portfolio; its hours suit our lifestyle; it allows us to find and utilize the best and most creative parts of us; it incorporates and accommodates us as a whole person; it affords the opportunity to grow, expand and discover more about ourselves; it is based on win/win and co-operation; it allows us to expand into being a whole human being – mind, body, emotions and spirit. That is proper work!”

“Our belief that we have to work can be very deep, even to the extent that we may not know what to do with our lives if we don’t work.”

“If you are called to be a street sweeper, sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great sweeper who did his job well.’” Martin Luther King Jr.

“The key to the work we were born to do is that we can change our attitude, our state of mind, our motivation, even the consciousness with which we work. We can make the transition from working with resentment, boredom or dissatisfaction to gratitude, pleasure and happiness. In doing so we can see our existing work differently and even begin to transform it, see new possibilities and begin to enjoy it in much greater ways. Changing our attitude may or may not ultimately involve us in actually changing our job.”

“Every decision is a choice between love and fear.” A course in Miracles

“Intuition is the language of the soul speaking through the heart. (…) Intuition, rather than logic, is often the way we break out of old struggles, mindsets and limitations. (…) When we follow our intuitions, we rarely see the complete picture, but are shown how to take each step one at a time.”

“To be nobody but yourself in - a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” e e cummings

“It is not the change that is painful, but it is often our resistance to change, our attachment to old ways, beliefs and concepts that causes our pain. Sometimes a letting go of an old way of being can feel like a death, but when we persevere, the rebirth always follows”.

“’Who the heck do you think you are anyway? Who are you to think you have anything of value or use to say, write or share? It’s all been done before, so why bother?’ We can often use our cleverness and intellect to fuel our doubts. The most enlightened approach is simply to smile at them and know that they are tests to see if we take them seriously or not.”

“A traveler came to a work site and saw two men carrying large blocks of stone, one looking bored and frustrated, the other looking happy and fulfilled. He asked the first one, ‘What are you doing?’, and his response was, ‘Moving stones.’ When he asked the other one the same question, he responded, ‘Building a cathedral.’”


Please share your stories with us! 
How were you sure about the work you do? 
Have you read a good book and would like to recommend it?
Leave a comment below.

You know when you’re waiting and hoping for something for 6 months, being all optimistic and making plans to actually get on with your life?

You can’t wait to get that piece of paper with a Yes on it and instead you get a No?

You’re dreaming about the day all the waiting is over and you can get decent work and move out of your in-laws’ like a good grown-up but instead life (the government) says: “Hold on! You haven’t wasted much of your time yet. You haven’t learned enough about patience yet! Let's play this game again!”?

First you refuse to believe, then you cry, then you start imagining all worst case scenarios, then you have a laugh and then you cry some more.

Well, we talked it over with a friend and I slept on it.

The day after, I decided not to be sad. Even though we hadn’t found a solution yet, I chose to believe we would figure it out and it would be alright.

I cleaned up the room – changed sheets, dusted, vacuumed and lit a scented candle.

Cleaning helps me put my thoughts in order.

I took a nice long shower, washed and conditioned my hair, scrubbed with a sponge and shaved; brushed and flossed my teeth.

I plucked out my eyebrows, applied a cleansing product on my face and moisturized my body.

I felt light, fresh and beautiful.

I turned off my computer and read a book instead.

I put on my bikini and sat outside soaking in some sun. The energy boost I needed!

I took a nap and felt invigorated.

It was a little improvised ritual that helped clear up my thoughts and calm down.  

The problem was still there and I was still worried, but I opened space for reason, clarity and hope, pushing and shrinking the anxiety to the small dark corner of my mind.  

For a moment I felt defeated and lost. It wasn’t funny, but today I can see there’s always a way.

If you’ve had shitty news or just a stinky day, resist the urge to sulk. It won’t get you anywhere and it’ll sure give you wrinkles and white hair. Take a little time and improvise a relaxing retreat! 

Since I read Pollyanna when I was a teenager and thought her glad game was awesome and I should definitely try and play it, I have been drawn to the concept of gratitude as a tool and mindset that makes my life happier.

Whenever I’m feeling down, I turn to gratitude. 

I list (mentally or on a sheet of paper) everything that I am grateful for in my life or in that particular moment. It’s more than just seeing the bright side of everything, it’s a deep understanding that you have more to be happy about than your worries and obsessions try to hide.

Last week I was reading The work we were born to do, by Nick Williams (it’s an awesome book and I’ll come back to talk about it) and he hit the spot again.

If you don’t have the habit of making a gratitude list and don’t know where to start, reflect on this: 

I personally like to sit quiet, close my eyes and think about my family, my love, all the places I’ve been, people I’ve met, all the work I’ve done, the value I added to people’s lives and vice-versa, the comfortable bed and roof over my head, the yummy food I just had or will have, my health, my skills, nature and peace around me, my strength and courage and so it goes… It grounds me back to self-confidence and love, peace of mind and inspiration. It makes me stop feeling sorry for myself or obsessed that things aren’t working the way they should. 

How about you? Do you have a gratitude practice? Are you going to try it today?

So I decided to step away from the computer for a while to do something normal and this post happened.

I was baking a carrot cake and feeling quite anxious – my shoulders were tense, my chest and throat felt tight and I was a bit light-headed. I’ve been recognizing these symptoms since last week, when the book went public and I started promoting it. Also, it’s August and I’m supposed to get a response for my Belgian Visa application.

I turned on the radio, mixed everything up (hoping that this time it would actually be a fluffy one) and when I put it in the oven, I felt like dancing. I was so grateful nobody was home, so I could do my crazy dances and talk to myself out loud:

“Sooo, what am I afraid of, really? Let’s write it down!”

And I did. I scribbled a note that looks something like this:

After writing this I could actually see that my anxieties make no sense and that each one of them has solutions and alternatives. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and said: “Everything won’t be alright. Everything IS alright”, and danced until the cake was done.

Later on, this video came to mind. There, Leonie talks about her #1 way to end a surge of anxiety: movement!

It works for me. 

Stop sulking and write down what’s troubling you x what the possible solutions are (ALL of them). Visualizing it will help your brain make sense of what’s real x what’s not.

Your fears are (generally) not the truth.

Move your body, get the blood flowing, get some fresh air and shake those bad feelings out.

Anxiety is a bitch. I hope this helps other anxious souls like me.

Do you have other advice on dealing with fear and anxiety? Leave a comment below!

Know someone who would like to know this? Share :) 

That’s one of the questions that have been messing around my mind since I was a kid. I remember saying I wanted to be an actress, so that I could pretend being lots of other things. Indecision right there. I also remember me thinking how unfair the world was and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to give a decent house and food for everyone. There’s more: I liked to imagine how I would fix my hometown, creating a clean, happy place to live.

I was always a good student, getting high grades and never failing my exams, but I never understood why we had to study stuff like complicated math, chemistry, physics. I wanted to learn first aids, cooking, driving and other useful subjects. I loved my history, language and literature classes.

When the time to choose my major came, I had no idea what I wanted to be. My choices were limited: I had to choose among the courses my local University offered. So I went through the brochure once again, crossing out what I definitely didn’t want: Medicine, Dentistry, Nursery, Law, Physical Education, IT and all that. I ended up applying for English Language and Literature and got first place on the exam. I didn’t really want to be a teacher, but I loved English, reading and writing.

On my second year at Uni, I started teaching and I did it well, but I didn’t love it. I graduated and decided I had to do something new. I needed a change or I would get stuck on that life. I knew I could do better. And so I left home and became an Au Pair.

I really believed that the time abroad, the adventure, the learning-more-about-myself thing would finally give me THE answer I needed. And I would be all “Aha! I know what I want to be when I grow up!”.

I wasn’t totally wrong. I did learn a lot about myself and life, but I realized that being absolutely certain about what you’re supposed to do is not that easy. However, as I talked to friends I saw that they had the same feeling and I read a lot about the mid-twenties crisis. These are indeed hard times, when you have to take control and responsibility over your life. When you have to make decisions for the future and take important steps towards it. When you “have to” do a lot of stuff you’re “supposed to”.

*SIGH*

I’m 27 and I just moved back to Belgium to start building a brand new life. I’m not a teacher anymore. I’m not an Au Pair anymore. I’m just me for now. Sometimes it makes me nervous to have such a blank page in front of me. I don’t even know how the next few months are going to be. Other times, though, I feel grateful and excited for this time to learn, change, choose and create.

I have been reading blogs and e-books about creating business from your passions and living the life you love and it really resonates with me. I want to have freedom and power over my own life. I want to work when and where I like and as much as I like. I want to share and be useful and helpful. Although I have a few faint ideas on how to do that, I still have doubts. What are my gifts and passions? How can I join my education, experience and passions and make a living? What would people pay me for? 

That’s when I decided I want to be supported on this journey. I heard of a place where women are changing their lives and the world; where they are learning to share their gifts and create abundant lives. And I thought “This is totally what I need now!”

I joined Leonie Dawson’s Amazing Biz + Life Academy*. There are courses, books, videos, discussion forums and so many tools to help me figure things out. I have been brainstorming like crazy, thinking, writing, asking around… I even created my very own vision board! 

And I’ve learned to:

1. Always invest in myself. Education, books, courses, seminars. You can never know enough.

2. Do what is doable at the moment. Don’t wait for it to be perfect or it might never come.

3. Look for support! I stopped trying to solve everything myself. Often times the answer I need is not in my head.

That’s why I’m sharing this, peeps! I’ll love to connect and hear your ideas, advice, personal stories, questions, etc. Let’s pick each other’s brains!

*  Originally posted on www.anaeasletras.blogspot.com

* That is an affiliate link. It means that if you click on it and make a purchase, I get a commission. I only recommend it because I truly love it :)